On the Set of TopGear Series 24!

On the Set of TopGear Series 24!

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I think this is the right studio...

I worked out recently that I have been watching BBC Two's pokey motoring show for a full twenty years. Twenty! I'm only twenty-five years old, for crying out loud... and yet, after they rebooted and reformatted the show in 2002 to take place in a large hangar situated at former RCAF airbase south of Guildford, I never got tickets to be in the audience as messrs Clarkson, Hammond and May called each other names and told each other that Alfa Romeos are brilliant (but not as brilliant as something Jeremy's just thought of). I did apply once, but by that time the waiting list was allegedly as long as eighteen years and frankly it wasn't happening...

However, after a fracas, a shaky second reboot in 2016 and a year to figure itself out properly, TopGear is ready for what it calls series twenty-four (but which I consider to be phase three, series two) and recently sent out an open invitation online to apply for free tickets to appear in the audience for the first two episodes, airing this Sunday and next at 8pm. I was quick enough to jump at the latest chance and... I got tickets! Finally! Sure I wouldn't get to meet The Tall One now that he's migrated to the internet, but damn it all TopGear is TopGear! I'd applied for two tickets for episode one, but unfortunately my plus-one had a doctor's appointment in the end and I left it until it was too short-notice to get anyone else to join me. Still, I'd have more freedom to wander about on my own and could make the day longer by staying for the recently added companion show, Extra Gear.

Getting to Dunsfold Aerodrome from my house is actually very easy: drive to Guildford and turn right. Then, following the A281 south you eventually reach Alfold Crossways, a junction that's on a left-hand curve at which point you turn right and right again onto a parallel road, then immediately turn left (I imagine if James May had this described to him he would've ended up doing a U-turn and going back to Guildford... but it's easier to understand when you're there looking at it). Then go straight-on at the next corner and cruise past the Three Compasses pub. In mid-morning on a Wednesday after the commuters had gone to work, it took about an hour or so. Mostly because I didn't get lost - in fairness I've actually been here before for charity events.

You're checked three or four times for your credentials between Compass Gate and the audience holding area, which is essentially a slab of concrete parallel with the airfield's perimeter road and accessed via a very neat crossroads filled with seemingly unnecessary traffic lights. Once directed to a space, you find yourself facing the studio building(s) from across the airfield. What a tease!

Oh, and there was a food truck there. I had a banana with my burger and this seemed to be novel idea to onlookers.

I guess it's a bit like having my bacon-cheeseburger with a diet coke, but in food form

We were all given a TopGear quiz to fill in and submit, featuring questions that are even hard when you have a black belt in Google-fu. How am I supposed to know which hangar the new series is filmed in unless I work here?!

Wholesome meal over, it was time to wait around in windy drizzle... for about an hour longer than I'd anticipated. After tactically standing so that only half of me was getting soggy for quite a while, watching something red lapping the track from afar (possibly an Alfa Giulia QV or more likely a Toyota GT86 I'll bring up again later), we were then told that they were filming something and were having a delay, so despite the tickets saying "doors open at 1:00pm and close at 1:30," it wasn't until nearly 2:30 that we boarded some buses and were driven along the perimeter road to those buildings which were previously far away.

Oh the time we spent staring at those buses......

Then we had some more queuing to do, just to reassure those who came from a foreign country to be here that this is definitely Britain (also it was still drizzling, so I'm glad I wore a hat but regret not getting a clear-bin-bag "poncho").
We were told to leave our phones in the car and not take photos, so any images you see from here on in are actually startlingly accurate artist's impressions made using various media and a photographic memory. Honest...

Take, for example, this image of a blue Suzuki Whizzkid sitting right outside the studio, that was full of the sort of clobber you'd expect of a car that'd been sitting in somebody's garage for years rather than outside a TV studio. I love how the artist got the texturing on the metal bars so detailed in this image! Remarkable handiwork there.

Finally, after more wristband checking, we were allowed to be herded in groups to and through the studio doors. Here is a realistic digital painting of that, featuring the backs of people's heads:

Such realism!

Having seen old TopGear on telly so many times over, I was immediately struck by the size of the newly-restyled studio... or rather the apparent lack of size. I always got the impression it was filmed in the group of three hangars near the exit of Gambon Corner, but this single unit (hangar 86, remember that for the quiz if you ever go yourself) a few feet down from the start/finish line is visibly cosier. Perhaps the loss of its long-serving stars has forced them to relocate across to here for a smaller audience, or perhaps it's "due to the unique way the BBC is funded." I don't know the explanation. Nevertheless, a smaller audience means you're more likely to appear on screen... but being self-conscious at the best of times I never tried to be right at the front, just somewhere that I could see the big screen and hopefully the presenters' heads.

Initially, I stood next to something very shapely indeed: a Rimac Concept_One that I have geeked out about elsewhere on this blog in the past.

Ah yes, the artist who perfectly recreated these scenes from memory was a bit nervous about using their special technique to mentally record an image in their minds so early in the day, so, er, the composition isn't brilliant. Don't worry, things get better in this regard. Anyway, they didn't actually review or lap the all-electric Croatian supercar, instead choosing for Rory Reid to walk around it and poke bits of it while discussing its speed and range with a confused Matt LeBlanc and a cynical Chris Harris... and the star guest. I'll get to him in a mo...

...because before "the talent" showed up, the audience was informed (briefly) and entertained (frequently) by kiwi comedian Jarred Christmas while the production team scurried around doing Many Important Things to set up the equipment. At this point I was even happier not to be near the front as he went around fishing for material by asking audience members about themselves - I'm happy just to laugh, thanks! He actually stuck around throughout the recording of the show to fill in long gaps between takes and present something akin to a "half-time show" during the break in filming, when they gave out prizes to quiz winners and he continued his day-long quest to find the ultimate cheese joke. You wouldn't brie-lieve some of them...

Once everyone was into the studio, the crew sprayed more white onto the white mats beneath the cars and took away the black fences around them before instructing us NOT to stand on said white mats. The man tasked with directing the audience then took charge and gave us a tutorial in how to be an audience - how loud to cheer and applaud, how to applaud without cheering, when to cheer and/or applaud in the opening scene - after which everything became professionally lit and we gave, on cue, both cheers and applause to the three presenters as they strode in near the hangar door and walked to the opposite end to find their newly redesigned sofas.

Matt LeBlanc (I was in the same room as Joey!!) thanked us for turning up and wished us well. Then it was time to open the show once and for all. The camera rigs were moved into position and I couldn't help noticing the bag of crisps balanced on one of the circular lower handles. A proud TopGear tradition from the Wilman era was prodigious consumption of crisps and that remains alive and well among the production team. We heard the start and end of the now famous remix of Jessica originally by the Allman Brothers Band, then gave riotous cheer with applause as the stars introduced the show and series, now standing centrally in the studio as a trio with the camera in a corridor formed by us, as they said their hellos and linked into the series preview montage. This actually happened two or three times thanks to a forgotten line here or there. I would eventually learn to get used to this aspect of filming a television show.

After the montage above, they walked towards a car on the opposite side of the studio to me: a resplendent Ferrari LaFerrari in pearlescent white with metallic blue contrasting roof. This was Harris's link into his film testing the Ferrari FXX K, a track-only unregulated version of LaFezza. After some exemplary work explaining and showcasing the sonorous thousand-horsepower training tool around Daytona Speedway's endurance route, we applauded (and possibly cheered). Some further discussion of the car's quirks occurred, after which they welcomed on this week's Star in a Reasonably [REDACTED] Car, James McAvoy. What, already? After one film? That's unusual.
It turns out that this element of the show has been overhauled. Again. Mercifully, last year's format of having two guests painfully irrelevant to each other sitting down and having their past cars compared via an audience shouting contest has been completely axed. Instead, the singular guest first appears where the 'news' segment of the show would previously have been and initial discussions with them happen then... but the lap was saved for later.

Instead, after comparing his Audi RS3 to the Millennium Falcon [an understeering one, Harris asserts] and mentioning a couple of things I remember him saying the previous time he was on the show... we had to do this segment again. I guess the director is a perfectionist. We even had to welcome him onto the stage a second time. While the camera squad moved their things around and people whispered into their headpieces to unseen overlords between takes, the presenters and Mr. McAvoy chatted to each other, which we could hear. They talked about his bikes some more (Matt LeBlanc is a keen biker too) and some ideas of how to deal with the issue of them being stolen. The two professional actors also talked about their current projects (Episodes has one more series, if I've remembered correctly... or it's over... or soon to be... OK I haven't remembered correctly).

Oh! I almost forgot. They did introduce the Car Of Reasonableness during this segment of the show. It's the red thing in the picture below - drawn with a thousand crayons, from memory of course.

(image recorded after TG was finished)

This series, the car is not reasonably priced... instead, it is reasonably fast; a brand new Toyota GT86 with much of the interior trim removed and a basic rollcage fitted for health and safety reasons. Somehow the BBC have allowed Chris Harris to teach expensive celebrities how to fling a 200-horsepower rear-wheel-drive sports car around the test track! Apparently it took some time to figure out how much electronic stability assistance to leave on, among other issues, but even though there was some ESP function, we still saw a few clips of James McAvoy half-spinning at quite high speed through the tyres and at the first couple of corners, much to the amusing (and uncensored) terror of passenger Harris. I imagine this will happen every episode. Still, beats a Vauxhall Astra TechLine!

Before moving onto the next film, the presenters talked about which upcoming cars they were looking forward to this year. Technology fan Rory Reid fancies the Rimac I was standing near, so he and McAvoy walked over to it to talk about how fast and clever it is. The car's TVR-esque feature of having a button under the mirror to open the door was a highlight to the TG guys, with Rory asking guest James to try opening the car without instructions (hey remember when Jeremy did that with a Tuscan II in 2005?). Predictably, Rory had to step in and do it for him. This worked the first time and they checked out the interior... but a fluffed line or misplaced camera meant they had to re-shoot it... and the door never worked again. Each time Rory reached for the button, the door stayed resolutely shut, to everyone's amusement. They gave him the key, he tested it successfully before they returned to their seats to repeat the short walk-and-talk towards the car... and when it mattered, the door didn't open. They eventually abandoned this idea, sat back down again - "Fucking door!" [laughter] - and moved on. I'm interested to see what the final edit of that will be like!*

The thing to which they moved on was the cheap car challenge requiring cars which had done more than 480,000 miles - or as they put it, "have been to the Moon and back." This was to demonstrate that you needn't give up on your car after 60,000 miles or two years or however long most people own a car. At first I was staggered to see that the odometer on Matt's E-Class began with an '8' only to work out that it was in kilometres, not miles. This is because it came from Germany, unlike the London Taxi and Volvo V70 used by Rory and Chris respectively. A familiar format with fresh faces, this was actually a very enjoyable piece, but an extra dimension when watching in the actual studio is that the audience - who aren't recorded during these films, of course - reacted like, well, an audience. So when something funny happened, the whole room laughed anyway. When the winner of the inevitable race appeared from the final corner, there was cheering (not to mention upstanding outrage from the shorter of the two losers in the darkened studio as they watched with us!). You won't hear any of this under the footage at 8pm, but we were fully engaged with what we were watching. I have never experienced TopGear like this before and it felt special. The enthusiasm of others was contagious and it wasn't embarrassing to react loudly, like it might be at home. It was like being at a gig.

Once the first half of this film concluded, it was time for a break and some fresh air, during which I made a beeline for the nice lady handing out wristbands for Extra Gear and got the last one she had. There was still no opportunity to sit down, especially as it was still wet outside, but hey, at least there was complementary tea, coffee and biscuits. I plumped for the latter two.

Said refreshments were served in another hangar, opposite the studio and roughly half the length. I couldn't help but notice some rather tasty cars behind a fence in this building, including [breathe] an Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio Verde, and Aston Martin DB11 and a Volvo V60 Polestar, not to mention a backup GT86 "reasonably fast car" and some others I can't remember. The Alfa and Aston appeared in the series preview, which makes me think they will be starring in episode two (which was filmed four days ago, so I can probably get away with telling you this). The Volvo will appear in Extra Gear later today.

I decided to get a change of scenery for the second half of the show, so I stood on the left-hand side of the studio instead, again next to a car but with a proper view of the big screen (there is one on each side, about a storey up in the air, flanked by '80s supercars possibly belonging to Harry Metcalfe, whom I spotted on the phone in the corner at this point).

Jarred Christmas reappeared as we filed back in and everyone got ready for the second half. As well as asking us for more cheese jokes (the Camembert/"come on, bear" joke took several attempts), he found a new game where he sang one line of a pop song and hoped an unsuspecting victim would sing the next line. Some were better than others. I continued to keep a low profile, or as much of one as you can when standing an inch away from a pearlescent white Ferrari.

Here is a terribly composed portrait of said LaFerrari, done in pencils this time

I have to say, I don't normally like white on cars, but the way the pearlescent finish softly highlights the surfaces on this hyper-hybrid really works in person. It looked stunning. I spent of lot of the waiting time just looking at as much of it as possible. I'll probably never stand this close to one again. Fun fact: it was imported by Ferrari Japan. I don't know why this is, given that they sold them in the UK...

Anyway, we then got to watch James McAvoy's timed lap, which was certainly a bit lairy in wet conditions. We then had four or five goes at putting his lap time on the board (including all the talking post-lap) and cheering him goodbye. Sometimes it was a presenter tying their tongue in a knot, one time Rory stood up randomly for no reason, one time it was a mystery. I think it was after this that they re-shot some of the conversation about the Rimac, several times, just looking at Matt's face and Chris's face separately as they repeated what they said about it (Matt questioned its top speed, range and whether they're both possible simultaneously, Chris rubbished the whole idea of electric supercars saying the companies just make stuff up about a prototype and nobody buys one).

Television is hard.

After that, we watched the final part of the high-mileage cars film (during which I spotted a producer or somebody sitting next to Chris discussing what they were seeing), with a beautiful closing scene of the rocket launch to which they'd been racing. Personally I very much enjoyed this Kazakhstani adventure of theirs, with purely natural banter between the presenters and little-to-no manufactured action. An un-forced show for car enthusiasts. Thank goodness! Then there were three or four attempts to tell you what's happening next week, including three or four rounds of applause with cheering from us (always excellently delivered, of course).

Overall, I had a feeling that I'd just seen a good episode of TopGear. It wasn't a show I'd have to be defensive about and unlike the first episode of "series 23" last year none of it made me cringe... which is always nice. I feel optimistic about this series being a genuine alternative not only to The Grand Tour, but also to just watching old repeats on Dave, which is to say that, hype aside, it'll be of the same quality as what we've known before. Maybe. There certainly won't be any "we'll just have to be patient and give them a chance" excuse-making like there was in 2016. I have also learned that it takes about three times longer to film a TV show than it does to broadcast it. Mind you, it's not like I get to be on set every week, so I'm not complaining! Just observing.

But now, it was time to hang around for a bit. Again. There's a lot of that when you're making a TV show.

Mercifully, I found some Formula 1 tyres to sit on this time. No, I have literally no idea why they were there. Other people quickly sat on the new sofas for a photo, but obviously I didn't have my phone because I'm not naughty. Here's an exact scale replica of part of the main set platform. I cut a circle of acrylic especially for this image.

You can also see the Tyres Of Mercy and two of the star cars above (also accurate scale models, obvs). Despite LaFerrari having an electric mode that works up to 5km/h to manoeuvre it around, the person who had to turn it around 180° into its position for Extra Gear didn't realise this, instead starting the 6.3 V12 engine with a silence-shattering whip-crack that settled quickly into a booming burble. They were then very careful with it, as anyone would be with somebody else's million-quid machine.

TG's companion show has also been refreshed for 2017, with its own new set design including an amphitheatre-style three-tier seating setup for the audience... and a new presenter! Rory and Chris are now the suppourting acts for WRC-loving comedian George Lewis, a stand-up act on the rise making his TV** debut.

**Can you call it a "TV" debut when it's exclusively online?

It was actually during filming for this show that I saw something to add to the optimism I mentioned above about the show's future: chemistry. This was always something fans of the previous trio were keen to rattle on about as a USP of the show that made it work. Chris and Rory were almost like two lads in the pub together.

My favourite moment of the day will probably go forever un-broadcasted; it was time to introduce the part of the show where Chris takes a car around the track and this week it was the Volvo V60 Polestar, in reference to the V70 he'd just left knackered in the main show. The final line of his paragraph to camera was to say that he was to take "this viking Labrador carrier" around the track to see what's what. A slip of the tongue caught him out as he said "viking Labrador corridor." No matter, he sat back down and George re-did his segue to Chris's part. Having walked and talked his way to the front of the Volvo again... "viking Labrador corridor." Walking back in dismay, he asked us the rhetorical question "'Corridor'?! Where is that coming from???" as he went to try again. It then happened a third time. Rory started laying into him about his abject failure to read an autocue and Chris rugby-tackled him in a manner similar to Nico Rosberg on Lewis Hamilton after the 2014 Bahrain Grand Prix, only these two landed carefully back on their bench before recomposing themselves and trying again. Fourth or fifth time lucky, Chris nails it once and once only... and we all hold on with palpable anticipation until the director makes clear that it's all OK and in the can... before we erupt into riotous applause like he's just done a back-flip through fire or something. He immediately turned round and showed Rory some particular fingers with great enthusiasm and triumph in his eyes!

After that it was back to the normal routine of having a couple of goes at professional content, although as they paused to set up for one re-take the two of them did argue about who failed the most to say their lines (Chris assured us that Rory's line was tiny and his was like War and Peace, so exaggeration is another TopGear tradition alive and well). I will say in his defence, though, that he does seem like a proper guy - sympathetic towards us and our long day's work and chatting to us between takes about the cars we could see, how LaFerrari looks miles better in person than in pictures (true), how the Testarossa set decoration looks cool too but if you ever look to buy one, check the welds; if they're actually of a good quality then it's been crashed and repaired, as Ferrari didn't really do quality control in the '80s. OH, and he complained the set's bench was still too high for him. I heard someone afterwards say that he's the one you'd most want to have a pint with and I'd concur, no disrespect to the other two of course (Rory hung around for selfies the longest). Plus of course, as the "continuity nightmare" bit in the main show attests, he is one of us: a true, nerdy petrolhead. As for new boy George, he made a fine referee as he balanced his presenting debut with sorting out Monkey and 'Rench on his left.

As for the format, Extra Gear no longer has a bonus guest on, which was always a confusing aspect of its first series, and nor does it have a bit where the presenters discuss cars â la "The News." Instead it essentially focuses on its main purpose to take you behind the scenes and show a bit of bonus content. Both shows, then, have been tidied up nicely compared to last year and will make for enjoyable viewing over the remaining six weeks of take two of the third era of the greatest car show...... In The World.

I'm glad I was well and truly there to see it.

----

An angle of the studio you'll never see on TV, sketched while sitting on a Tyre Of Mercy

*P.S. This has taken me so long to [stop procrastinating and] write, that I have now seen the broadcast...

So after watching the episode on BBC Two, I see that they actually just cut the entire Rimac section out altogether, meaning the only part of the main show where you might have seen me - especially as standing behind LaFerrari meant I was always out of shot for the second half - wasn't actually aired. Thank goodness I took so many "photos" of it, LOL... Also, at the end of the FXX K film they were standing next to an actual FXX K in the broadcast, which was NOT in the studio the week I was there! The conversation about being invited to buy one was had sitting on the sofas during the day the rest of this episode was filmed. They must have found one available later and made time during filming for episode two to add that bit in a few of days ago... a technique which would explain why episodes are, it turns out, filmed eleven days in advance, not just four.

I also see that Extra Gear went through quite a lot of editing, although detecting how carefully Harris said "viking Labrador carrier" in the final cut brought back some of the gleeful buzz from when I heard him say it the first [fifth] time. George's introductory piece to camera was shorter than in the studio - removing a section where he captioned some short clips HIGNFY-style - and I remembered that sometimes the first takes were more natural than the re-takes that were generally used. This is just part of TV - because the script isn't always word-for-word and the autocue just says "DISCUSS [subject]" for a time, the presenters just speak naturally to each other, then have to recreate that if a re-take is needed. It's only made me more glad to have been there to hear it all happen in real time, although I'll sometimes wonder what I'm missing from now on when I watch future episodes. Maybe I'll have to hope that repeat appearances in the audience are allowed... and that they'd even let me come back after all these, ahem, artist's impressions...

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

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HAPPY HOLIDAY SEASON FROM SBV8!!

CELEBRATE LIFE, BE HAPPY AND ENJOY YOURSELVES

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What a TopGear Presenter Should Be

What a TopGear Presenter Should Be

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Yes that's right, it's another TopGear speculation blog post!! YAAAAAAAY!!! I know you're excited about it. Don't lie.

It is unlikely to have escaped your notice that TopGear (the greatest car show...... In The World) has been in some serious jeopardy of late. With lofty controversy enthusiast Jeremy Clarkson harassing and ultimately punching a producer in the face - despite being on a "final warning" - the show's main presenter has had to be let go from the BBC. In the last couple of days it has been confirmed that series producer Andy Wilman, along with co-presenters Richard Hammond and James May, are also leaving TopGear in a show of solidarity, because when your long-time friend has verbally and physically assaulted the nearest person upon discovering that there's no hot food left, you should stand by his side, dammit.

This has obviously tipped car fans, entertainment fans and society in general into a frenzy. People are literally setting fire in disgust, there is mass panic in the streets, some are losing their minds to the point where they actually think they care about politics, children are throwing their own feces at things (more often than usual, that is) because they mistakenly think that it's actually called "fracas," and probably thousands of people are curled up in the foetal position outside any prestige car dealer they could run to with only one shoe on before hallucinating about all cars in sight melting into the Earth and their own skin morphing into a Greenpeace hybrid public transport bicycle. Oh wait, no they aren't, they're just bombarding any social media post or news article TopGear.com posts up with "Bring Back Clarkson[, Hammond and May]" comments, as if that's going to have even 1% of persuasive power over a huge global organisation that's already made up its mind, and which, if you think about it, didn't really have any other choice.

Oh, you want us to bring them back?
Oh okay then. You should've said.

I actually don't understand what's going on in these people's minds. Do they actually think it's going to have any effect at all? Do they think that bitching about it is all it would take? Do they think that TopGear's online team are somehow unaware of what's going on with their TV counterpart, and that letting them know on Twitface or the website itself will prompt an easily-initiated reactive course of action that will magically reinstate the four of them and making everything hunky-doory again? Have they got it in their minds that the people at Fortress TopGear had no idea that this ordeal would be controversial and they need telling?
Guess what, gormless keyboard chimps: they know. They're very much aware that the show as we know and love habitually follow it is doomed. They realised before you did that it was going to spark outrage, shock and other such words you'll find in all-caps atop any newspaper article about Clarkson's fracas. You're not informing them, you're not educating or enlightening them. You're frankly achieving nothing but to constantly remind all followers of their pages of the very public situation the show is in. You might as well just walk up to The Tall One himself and shout "YOU'VE BEEN SACKED AND THE TV SHOW IS DEAD, IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW." Maybe he'll call you a mealy-mouthed imbecile (or a one-eyed Scottish idiot) and shoot you in front of your families when you do. Maybe not.

Regardless of cyber whining or anything else, TopGear "Mk.2" (2002-2015) is dead. Its metabolic processes are now history. It's off the twig. It's kicked the bucket, shuffled off the mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. It is an ex-programme. The features that were prepared for the final three episodes will be shown, somehow, somewhere - probably iPlayer - and with that, back to the studio in the sky.

But don't worry, because they're going to reboot it next year! Just because the four key people in creating it and making it great are no longer involved, doesn't mean the BBC can stop making a show that basically prints money. However, before they can find out how much of that money-printing ability was down to The Tall One, The Short One, The Slow One and The Lucky Underpants One, there's the rather thorny issue of figuring out who their replacements are. I don't know who to replace Andy Wilman with, but the presenters? Well, now......

One thing's for sure, it can't be the wrong people. Not only have some people received death threats from angry cave trolls just for being mentioned as a potential choice, but I've seen the list of supposedly-likely successors chosen by the bookies at PaddyPower, and at least half of them would just be total bullshit choices. Piers friggin' Morgan?! That one has to be a joke, and Dermot O' Leary's favourable odds of stepping straight in from X-Factor chill me to my core as someone who grew up with TopGear all the way from the tail end of its first incarnation in the late '90s.

No, if they're going to do it properly then instead of just picking anyone who appears in gossip mags, they need to consider certain qualities which presenters of an exciting and entertaining car show about cars must have. THEY NEED TO BE:

A Petrolhead
Yes, they still do. Even if they keep doing dumb challenges and stuff to entertain simpletons, at the show's core it has always been and should always be a love letter to the car. You cannot write a love letter without love, because the ones who do have it will see right through your empty lies, and the usage of cars in the show will consequently be rendered all but meaningless. All three presenters need to be car enthusiasts, no matter what their exact jam is - racing cars, muscle cars, Porsche 911s, Japanese drifters, mud-plugging Defenders, V8 Utes, hypercars, classics, hot rods, whatever - and they must be able to express that without it feeling forced, or without it sounding like a politician being all "No really, I'm a pleb just like you, don't you know! I own an iPad and everything." Clarkson, Hammond an May all reviewed cars as a job before TG as well, so a background in motoring and/or car culture is definitely required. Don't just get any generic bobble-head to read from a script. The stunts might be fake, but if the passion isn't real either, forget it. You'll only piss off the entire core audience.

And yes, the core audience is still car lovers. The increasing silliness may have made it more-than-tolerable for their wives/girlfriends/children as well, but the large general viewership that's amassed would never have been there in the first place without petrolheads - who still tune in religiously, even if they might follow it up by moaning about inaccuracies or disappointing feature videos or patriotic bias in reviews of British cars. An under-par episode of TopGear is still better than having no big car show at all, and the way the outgoing presenters articulated their passion and naturally brought the format to life is what's magnetised us to the show for over ten years. Even if they did eventually become caricatures of themselves towards the end of its run......

Opinionated
TopGear without controversy? That just wouldn't be TopGear!! However, I'm not talking about xenophobia or other assorted stereotyping. I am again thinking about the cars. One thing you have to respect about TG is that despite being on a network that must be seen as impartial, it's never been afraid to criticise. If a car's badly made or floppy to drive or has an idiotically designed interior, you'll know about it, even if it pisses off the manufacturers (who loan them brand new cars to test) that their shiny new product has been roundly dismissed in front of everyone. While this can lead to trouble - some blamed Jeremy's constant bashing of Rover to be partially responsible for their bad image, thus falling sales, thus their demise in 2005 - maybe it could also be one reason why General Motors have pulled out all the stops for the new 'C7' generation Chevrolet Corvette, in a bid for their icon to finally be taken seriously outside of America. Yes, Tesla sued the show for misrepresenting the Roadster's battery life, but conversely the only reason anybody's heard of Koenigsegg or Pagani is because of this show, and theirs are some of the most wonderful automotive creations of all time, as professed by Clarkson and Hammond respectively.

Of course, while a big angry rant makes great TV, this must go both ways. They can't just hate everything, a presenter must be able to praise a good/great/charming car properly as well. Otherwise the once-enthusiastic program becomes as toothless as BBC political debate coverage - nobody's allowed to win, because nobody's allowed to lose. No car gets to be the greatest... In The World unless its status as such is professed with passionate opinion and reasoning, because some, perhaps most aspects of defining a great car over others are almost completely subjective, like looks and handling and cultural impact. It comes back to passion - a review or road test must go beyond dryly ticking all the What Car? boxes like pointing out boot space and fuel economy and tax brackets. What's the car like as an experience? Does it engage you and why? Is it a total shitbox? Would you be better off in the class benchmark? Why wouldn't you? Prove it to us. Don't hold back.

Entertaining For All...
Like, duh. It's TV. Any TV show that isn't entertaining had better be pretty damned insightful (or otherwise compelling), lest it be indifferently chucked off the air like a talent show winner from a record label. What's more, as much as they should be passionate car enthusiasts, if they can't translate the wonders, horrors and downright quirkiness of the automotive world into something regular folk can understand and relate to, then the show will never have the same-sized audience again and will thus be judged a failure. As much as it has to be rooted in all things automotive, TG has to keep its more general appeal too. For everyone who wants to see supercars screaming up a mountain road and a portrayal of the visceral thrills of speed, there's someone who wants to watch you obliterate a caravan (it's been a while...) and drive a bulldozer into a pile of dynamite. Possibly at the same time.

Mind you, if all three new presenters can tick the above two boxes and add some genuine character to the show, then it ought to be sufficiently watchable for all. There may well still be farcical cheapo challenges and mad stunts and the talk show element to keep the wider audience happy, and any of those must be brought to life just as well as the car reviews, to stop it from ever feeling generic. If the presenters can't keep us engaged, then there are dozens of other shows with crazy stunts and celeb interviews and such like for us to tune into instead. Simple as that.

...Especially Car Enthusiasts

But again, let us not forget the show's original and core audience, here. As I alluded to earlier, this is the best-known and most-viewed window into the weird, wonderful, infuriating, exhilarating and surprising world of the automobile. For some people this is the only point of reference for car stuff they have, the only means by which to get news and opinions on the latest and greatest stuff... a responsibility which the show never really seemed to quite realise it had, in my opinion. The reason this matters is not just because I don't want every car forum and TopGear Live show to be full of people without a clue what they're on about, it's mainly because TopGear has long had a real impact on car culture at large. Let me put it this way: Dacia, the Renault-owned Romanian-based purveyor of "very acceptable" basic budget cars, would probably not have entered the UK market in 2012 without the popular running joke about the Sandero (and latterly the Duster) being "Great News!" What's more, I believe that appearing on TG multiple times is one of the major reasons why the Bugatti Veyron transcended its status as a mere world record holder to become a household name, despite being an unattainable hypercar. Cars are a unique thing to make interesting to normal people because it's a subject matter you can interact with directly, one which can serve up a unique blend of action and emotion both on screen and inside you, through movements and sound. Motorised vehicles are the only true 'animate objects.' Used properly, they can make brilliant television, not to mention movie characters.

Anyone with even a passing interest in cars has watched TopGear at least once. Go on any car meme Facebook page or car forum and you'll likely find that every third post is a direct or indirect reference to TopGear. The average person's opinion on cars is probably a recycled version of those expressed by the show's presenters. I know I was like that when I was younger, before I could really develop my own opinions on such things. If you're going to present this show, you're going to be one of the people who introduces millions to the world of motoring, and you're going to be expected to keep contributing to car culture like the old guard did. You must appease the petrolheads! There should be jokes and references that make sense and are appreciated by people who live by the mantra of "four wheels good" as well as the typical topical telly jokes about people in the news and all that stuff.

Beyond the in-jokes, though, we need exhilarating. We want to know that a headline-grabbing new car feels alive, and to be reminded of why we'd rather spend our life and money on filling and perfecting our garage, not a bag of golf clubs or a collection of stamps. It'll be down to the presenters to articulate all that to us, as well as the TopGear production team living up to their hard-earned reputation for epic, breathtaking cinematography.

So What About the Show Itself?
I won't pretend I could do the job of actually creating the best possible "Mk.3" iteration of TopGear, but one thing I'm certain it absolutely mustn't be is a desperate reboot. You can't just try to recreate an old success with new faces. It would be like trying to bring back Queen with none of the original musicians... or the Amazing Spiderman movies, and nobody wants more of that pointless shite. However, some carryovers ought to be expected. It'll probably still be based in a huge studio full of people, seeing as the waiting list to have a girl stand in front of you on TV is about 18 years long, and there may well still be a celebrity shoehorned into the middle of each episode, and hopefully the legendary test track at Dunsfold Aerodrome in Surrey will survive (because I live near there!). Even if they do keep all that though, or at least some of it for continuity, they must look forwards, not backwards. This is a huge opportunity to really refresh the show, strip away some of the fat and contrived fakery and restart with a clear mission statement and a vision for how to realise that. Cut off the decay and let something new grow on top, from the original core. Should that approach be taken, we'll just have to wait and see where that leads us all...

Just like the question "How do you fix F1?" pretty much every TopGear fan "knows" how they would improve the show. So if you want my two pence, this new generation would start as a fairly back-to-basics car show, one with the aim of informing, entertaining and enthusing - you know who by now - petrolheads, primarily at least.  With the new presenters and producer in place to give it a different character and feel, it can evolve in a new direction, but with the same key aim: to celebrate the car. To show people how alive these technically lifeless objects can be, how the interaction between man and machine can lead to an experience impossible to find elsewhere. Capture the drama of supercars, the quirkyness of quirky cars, the simple pleasures and complex emotions of a great driving experience. Portray motoring as an art form. Try to do these things and more in as many different ways as possible, while also letting us measure a significant new car against its rivals with a lap times board and proper reviews on road and track. All the while, don't be afraid to call out a car maker for getting it wrong. Angry rants make good telly!

As I've said though, it will need to attract (or at least not repel) non-car folk too, so the show would be portrayed in an accessible way, not too nerdy although not patronising either. As much as it needs to be a car show, it can't just be a more expensive version of Fifth Gear, so reviews and features would be interspersed with some creative stunts, adventures, challenges - ones the outcome of which you couldn't predict too soon - or perhaps all three. These entertainment features would require some actual jeopardy and originality to them, too. What's more, it'd do more of something TG II rarely did: cover the people of cars. Humans are much easier to relate to, and ultimately cars are a human endeavour. Any driver, engineer, designer or company head you should know about before you can call yourself a cultured individual. It could be a regular feature or tributes could be made as and when they're appropriate (for living people too). Honestly one of my favourite TopGear films of all is their tribute to Ayrton Senna in late 2010. There's no reason not to have more of that.



So it'd be a car show with elements to entertain all and elements to please the core audience. From there it can grow, with input from the fans.

It would basically be pretty similar, just fresher and slightly re-jigged with a new style of bringing a similar format to life. Personally I could do without "Star In A Reasonably Priced Car," but they'll probably keep it. The only thing that draws more eyes than celebrity guests is sex, and that's unlikely to be made a feature on TopGear...

Maybe they'll be more creative than me. Maybe they won't. You'll just have to do what TV audiences aren't good at doing and be patient.

Whomever they choose, they have to get it right. If they can't capture our hearts and imaginations, then TopGear will have been better off on the scrap heap.


Copyright SmallBlogV8. Do not copy without permission

The Mother of All GT-Rs Is For Sale

The Mother of All GT-Rs Is For Sale

Rant SBV8 Supercars

12:01 PM Add Comment

Nissan Skyline GT-R NISMO Z-Tune, chassis R34-Z-001

2002 was a dark year for lovers of Japanese sports cars. New environmental regulations killed off the Mazda RX-7, Nissan Silvia, Toyota Supra, and the latter car's arch rival in the battle to reign as the king of Japanese performance cars, the mighty Nissan Skyline GT-R. A new Skyline soon followed, but there was no halo version for the car, now based on the 350Z's platform and sold in the US as the Infiniti G35 (and later the G37). By this point Nissan had already hinted at a future GT-R in 2001, which was followed up in 2005 by the GT-R PROTO concept after the '01 car was deemed to look too "nice" for the pinnacle of Japanese technological brute force. Despite promises for the future, the longing for the recent past was so strong that Nissan's motorsport arm NISMO decided they had to do something with the old R34-generation of "Godzilla." The R34 (or at least a silhouette racer in its image) was raced domestically in the JGTC (now called SUPER GT) for a year after the road car ceased production, sealing its legacy with the 2003 GT500 title before being replaced by an equally-successful V6-powered Fairlady Z. With that, the legendary RB26DETT straight-six engine originally made for the R32 GT-R in 1989 was also out of service, having won races and hearts around the globe both on and off the track.

So how to pay tribute to the greatest car and engine in the company's history? Build the fastest, most extreme road version possible, of course...

Seeing as they couldn't just grab a few cars off the production line anymore, NISMO planned to go out and buy carefully-chosen customer cars off their owners, bring them to Omori Factory and turn them each into a fierce road-racer that managed to be both GT and R in equal (and high) measure. Cost and production time were not on the list of priorities at any point in its development, but it was done in time for the motorsport division's 20th anniversary. As the ultimate version, it was called the Z-Tune.

How ultimate? The standard RB26 engine was all but thrown away, as even the block was modified. And bigger. It's actually the stronger, more rigid and longer block from the GT500 racing car, displacing 2.8 litres as opposed to the normal road car's 2.6. The twin IHI ball-bearing turbochargers were also race-proven, along with the crankshaft, conrods and camshafts, while the forged lightweight pistons, air intake system and titanium exhaust system were bespoke for the road car. The entire engine was assembled by hand, based on a specification NISMO had been developing at the Nürburging and entering in tuning competitions in Japan since 2000. As the second full iteration, it was dubbed "Z2." The accompanying 6-speed manual gearbox attached to a specially-developed twin-plate clutch.

The Z2 engine officially produced 500 horsepower and 398lb/ft of torque - the latter figure matching a 2009-15 Ferrari 458 - but given the infamous inaccuracy of Nissan's claimed 280PS (276bhp) output for the standard GT-Rs to conform to a "Gentleman's Agreement," I wouldn't be surprised if it actually made a fair amount more than that. In fact, I'd wager that the average Z2 probably matches the current R35's power output, somewhere in the 550-horsepower range, maybe even 600...

To harness that mighty firepower, the chassis needed an appropriate overhaul too. The brakes are bespoke 365mm two-piece front/ 355mm one-piece rear discs with Brembo 6-piston front/4-piston rear calipers, and promise up to 1.6g of decelerative force on track tyres. Of course, the ABS was reworked to suit, but the active LSD and all-wheel-drive were re-tuned to make 500+ horsepower perfectly driveable. Two types of special Bridgestone tyres were offered, those being POTENZA REO1R 265/35R18 for driving on public roads, and POTENZA RE55S 265/35R18 semi-slick boots for track work. Three-way adjustable SACHS dampers derived from the GT500 racing car allow you to prepare your car for either Touge or Tsukuba. Completing the look are simply glorious LM GT4 forged lightweight aluminium wheels in black to contrast from the "Z-Tune Silver [KYO]" bodywork.

As well as the 7kg propshaft, every exterior panel forward of the doors is made of carbon fibre (bear in mind that this was before the material was as popular or widely used as it is now), with a no-nonsense GT500-spec bonnet and bespoke fenders with a triangular protrusion where they meet the front doors. Both body features ventilate heat from the engine bay and the latter feature is the main way to tell apart the real deal from lookalikes along with subtle Z-Tune badging. The rear wing and subtle rear wheel arch extension to cover the wider tracks are also CFRP, while the super aggressive carbon front bumper channels cool air to the engine and brakes, as well as manipulating the air around that blunt nose more efficiently too. The carbon under-spoiler (front splitter) increases front downforce over the normal GT-R by 220% and has a wear protection plate and graphite lip to postpone a hideously expensive repair bill......

Despite all this race-spec carbon fibre goodness, the car isn't actually any lighter at 1600kg. Nor is it heavier. The weight they took away from the body and mechanicals has been added back as interior comfort. Well, that and heftier cooling systems for the engine and differential(s). NISMO know the difference between a road car and a racing car, so despite being the most powerful Skyline of all time it's been designed and engineered to be comfortable on the road and easy to control, as well as organ-mashingly fast in every direction. This explains why a car with such hardcore engineering still has air conditioning. The famed ATTESA-ETS all-wheel-drive could be programmed through the ESP system to send more power forwards and reduce oversteer, a function one likely accessed through the multi-mode on-board computer (another feature the R34 had years before it was popular), whose functions include a data logger and lap timer. The four seats were trimmed in black leather with bespoke red alcantara centres, while the steering wheel followed suit. As you can see, the rev counter goes up to 11, even though the engine only revs to 8000rpm. That's how AWESOME this car is.

The plan was to build 20, starting in 2004 to commemorate NISMO's 20th anniversary. Of those, only the first 12 were cars bought from customers to be made into a special factory model and sold as a new car (each being R34 GT-R V-Spec models with under 30,000km on the clock that were subjected to a strict inspection). Cars 13-19 were made by customers going to NISMO and asking them to convert their car to Z-Tune spec. I'm not sure if they actually made the 20th one. All cars were finished in "Z-Tune Silver," although one car has been resprayed Midnight Purple. The price for all this effort was ¥17million when new, or the equivalent of £128,000 today with inflation considered. That's the same price as a brand new 2015 GT-R NISMO (R35), and rather a lot.

But! If you expected depreciation to have made this car a decade cheaper, you'd be bitterly wrong. On 24th march this year, the very first Z-Tune came up for sale on Australian website The Lowdown, and appears to still be for sale right now. Most of the images here are of that car, which seems to be in pristine original condition. How much are they asking? You can actually send them an offer if you're serious, but be warned: they have received offers as high as $750,000 AUD, which equates to £387,075 or $572,000 USD.

Now THAT is a lot!

If you think about it though, it's not actually particularly surprising. This is a car full of track-spec parts, bespoke carbon fibre panels and so on, it's one of no more than twenty, and it's the ultimate version of an iconic car. Let's consider another car to give this some more context: when the Porsche 911 GT3 entered its current (991) generation, it lost the option of a manual gearbox and it no longer had a race-derived "Mezger" engine like the previous (997) car had. The ultimate version of the last purist's GT3 was the 2011 GT3 RS 4.0, of which Porsche made 600. By amazing coincidence, it also had a base price of £128,000. Wanna guess what they're being sold on for now? An average one is fetching between £250,000 and £275,000. A low-miles car with the Clubsport package will fetch £300,000.

The R34 was, of course, replaced by a bigger, heavier, paddleshift-only car, just like the 997 GT3... but there are only 19 or 20 Z-Tunes, compared to the almost-common 600-car run of GT3 RS 4.0s. The Z-Tune is already so rare it's almost mythical. Now that the Playstation* generation are growing up and going places, Japanese cars are starting to attract attention from collector types (a 1967 Toyota 2000GT recently sold for over a million US dollars), so with all this in mind, a half-million Skyline almost starts to make sense. Especially when it's the original one.

*Amazingly, this is probably the only version of the Skyline NOT in any Gran Turismo game!! Sort it out, Polyphony Digital...

It's just a shame I can't offer them £400,000 and attain my all-time dream car. Methinks it's time for me to buy a lottery ticket...

In the mean time, get fully geeked-up on this car by clicking here, reading how it drives on the streets on Speedhunters and watching this video from Best Motoring:

Written for SmallBlog V8. Do not copy without permission.
2nd and 3rd images are official Nissan images, the rest are from The-Lowdown. Video from YouTube.

If It Wasn't For Audi, The New Focus RS Might Look Like This

If It Wasn't For Audi, The New Focus RS Might Look Like This

New Car Rant SBV8

3:58 PM Add Comment

As we all know, big grilles are in. They have been for some time now, and I blame Audi. Ever since they joined the upper and lower grilles with a ring of chrome and black plastic inner bits, which I think happened when they facelifted the A3 in 2004/5, we've seen it in various forms in pretty much every market segment from pretty much every major manufacturer.

As crowded markets try ever harder to stand out, these grilles have grown to such sizes that a good 50% of the total grille are is completely fake and blocked off with filled-in holes, or in the case of the new Ford Focus RS, a hideous grey bar of plastic that looks like a rugby player's mouth guard.

Ford recently globalised their design language, and part of that was taking the European "Kinetic Design" style - very much following Audi with its large grille and black plastic crash bar holding the licence plate inside it - and swapped the upper and lower grilles around (no, they didn't copy Aston Martin, you're not funny).

If you've been without an internet connection all day and haven't seen the new Mk.3 Focus RS, here is a video of one of the designers talking to evo about it:

I like almost everything about the new Focus RS. I like that it has over 320 horsepower. I like that it has rear-biased all-wheel-drive with a torque-vectoring rear axle that can send all that grunt exactly where it's best sent. I like that it'll have a manual gearbox and optional track tyres for decimating Renaultsports at Cadwell Park or the Nürburgring. But I don't like two things about it: the lack of a 3-door model and that fussy, ugly nose design. It's almost like they gave it two nose designs at once, giving it enough of an opening for the visibly huge intercooler and then putting that big daft trapezoidal lip around it all so that it looks like an angry fish! They completed the now-fashionable look by, of course, making anything inside the fish mouth grey.

So I decided to take the fish mouth off and color the grey back in using Photoshop. I think it looks cleaner, and a bit old-school, which Fast Fords ought to be in my opinion. You don't have to prefer it, but I do. So there.

The top image is literally what I just described, with the fog light housings squared off a little to make them fit in better with the resultant lines. Below is a slightly refined version with a thicker horizontal element.

This has been written for SmallBlog V8, but can also be found at Oppositelock. Do not claim this writing or these images as your own. They are not.

2015 Detroit Motor Show Highlights

2015 Detroit Motor Show Highlights

New Car Rant SBV8 Supercars

5:03 PM Add Comment

The presence of a Ford GT40 will become relevant soon......

The 2015 North American International Auto Show (NAIAS) has come and gone in the past week over in Detroit, Michigan. While understandably biased towards the North American market, Motor City played host to some important - and surprising - world debuts as well. Let's take a look at some of the more interesting ones.

These ones are only mildly interesting, so I'll get them out of the way first. Alfa Romeo had already previewed a targa-topped 'Spider' version of its downright sexual 4C sports car, but the production version landed in Detroit to complement Alfa's return to the US market after saying they would for literally a million years. Not literally. Still powered by a 1.75-litre turbo engine producing 237bhp and 258lb/ft, the structural changes required to give it a removable roof adds just 10kg to the overall weight, pushing it up to 905kg dry for the European version, or 1060kg for the US version (US regulations make cars uglier and worse, it's a fact). The car also comes with new 18/19" wheels, an Akrapovic exhaust with a button to make it louder and pretty new headlights that look more expensive and, ironically, less like spider eyes. It'll hit the road soon.
More than twice as heavy but no less of a speed machine, the new Porsche Cayenne Turbo S is more interesting than the new 430-horsepower 911 Targa 4 GTS because it has a monstrous engine... and a 'Ring time. Range Rover Sport owners will be crestfallen to know that Stuttgart's new super utility vehicle can be hurled around the infamous Nürburgring Nordschleife in a staggering 7:59.74, which is around 14 seconds faster than the new supercharged Range Rover Sport SVR. Take that, Rooney. This comes courtesy of Porsche living at that track, but also due to standard-fit carbon ceramic brakes and a 4.8 V8 BiTurbo engine throwing 562bhp and 590lb/ft at all four torque-vectoring wheels, enough force to yield a 0-60 time of 3.8 seconds - making it as quick and as powerful as a Lexus LFA - and a 176mph top speed. Not bad for a 5-seater weighing 2.2 tonnes!
Also surprisingly fast for a weight figure over the double tonne is the Tesla Model S P85-D. The P85 is the most aggressive spec of battery and motor for the 422bhp, all-electric Model S, but the American company recently whipped out the D...... by which I mean "Dual motor" version. This adds a second electric motor to power the front wheels, and the result is a four-wheel-drive car with an Aventador-matching 691bhp (that's 470bhp at the rear and 221bhp up front). In a car with five seats and a hatchback!! Couple this with 864lb/ft of torque that arrives literally instantly and this ~2100kg executive car hits 60mph in 3.2s and makes a Ferrari 458 look asleep in a drag race. It may be expensive and it may struggle to get far past 250 miles before needing more electricity, but there's something extremely impressive about the Model S, a car whose exterior design I initially found derivative but grows on me all the time. I want to experience that instant torque!
It's certainly a hell of a lot more impressive than the Volvo S60 Cross Country. You can turn a perfectly reasonable compact executive saloon into a head-scratching niche too far in three easy steps: 1) Raise the ride height a noticeable amount. 2) Add some black plastic edging. 3) Claim to have invented a new market segment called "crossover sedan..." even though Volvo haven't invented anything. AMC offered the Eagle as a 4-door in 1981 and that rode even higher off the ground, while Subaru offered a jacked-up version of the Legacy saloon in Australia nearly twenty years ago, based on the Outback estate. The S60XC is also based on an estate, the V60 Cross Country, a car which makes a lot more sense. High-riding off-road cars have always had estate or pickup bodies because they're utility vehicles. They explore places and to explore places you need to carry loads of stuff. You need a long roof to carry bicycles and tents and stuff on it. An executive saloon? Do you commute to the office across a field? Can your normal car not get across a gravel driveway? Yes it can. You don't need one of these. This is just desperation to stand out, both by Volvo and by anyone who buys it. Possibly the dumbest car they've ever made......

Right, now the big deal reveals:

2016 Ford GT

Wow. Nobody expected this. Despite years of wistful speculation that the much-loved 2005 Ford GT would one day be replaced, it never really seemed likely, just wishful thinking that kept being reported on. But suddenly, with not a single teaser image or leak of information, here it is: Ford GT Mk.2. While the previous car was so retro that untrained eyes couldn't tell it apart from the 1960s Le Mans-conquering GT40, the new car merely carries a few visual references to the original inspiration, while moving the nameplate firmly into the future in every other way. What it shares in side profile and headlight shapes, it differs from in surfacing, interior design, engineering philosophy and rather controversially, engine. Rather than a typically American V8 nestled behind the driver, the new GT features a 3.5-litre twin-turbo V6. No supercharger whine, no octo-cylinder bass thunder blasting out the back, just a medium-sized Ecoboost engine. What kind of European nonsense is this?! Well, to be fair, we're talking about a racing-derived engine that makes "over 600 horsepower" and promises torque across the rev range at the twitch of an ankle. There's none of your pansy-ass Prius-propaganda hybrid nonsense, either. That adds weight and takes up space, two things in which Ford are not interested.

Instead, they promise "one of the best power-to-weight ratios of any production car" when it hits the road on the 50th anniversary of Carrol Shelby bitch-slapping Enzo Ferrari at Le Mans (2016). This will partially be down to carbon fibre bodywork, a McLaren-style carbon tub with aloooominum [aluminium] subframes, carbon-ceramic brakes as standard and the aforementioned smaller-displacement engine. Said "V6 motor" uses the architecture (essential layout) that Ford uses for the V6s in its Daytona Prototype endurance cars that race in the USA - including at Daytona, no less - and features a trick new fuel system that combines the now fashionable direct-fuel injection with port injection to increase overall response, along with a low-friction "roller finger follower" valve operating system. Whatever that is. In another bid to scare off muscle car guys, the GT will be available with any gearbox you want, so long as it's a 7-speed paddle-shift DCT. Making sure it corners like a Ferrari will be suspension combining an active torsion bar with pushrod-actuated springs. Another clear and immediate signifier that Ford means business with the new GT is the presence of some pretty extreme aerodynamics. There is obviously a pop-up rear wing that may or may not double as an air-brake, but would you just look at those air channels behind the doors that go between the wheels! It takes some clever packaging of the suspension and engine cooling system to have what can only be described as a canyon between the rear wheel and the mid-mounted engine, and I reckon the V6 engine being physically shorter by nature than a V8 plays a key part in this (see yellow arrows above). The resultant teardrop shape of the upper body will contribute to a lower drag coefficient, increasing both top speed and fuel economy. How very Le Mans. In fact, fuel economy is said to top 30mpg, and that's with smaller American gallons.

Finally, the other main headline for now is that this car will be taking on the likes of the Ferrari 458 Speciale and McLaren 650S, but not only on the road; just like the original Anglo-American GT40, this car was built to win races, potentially as early as this year. Ford didn't say in which series they'll race, but the GTE class at the 24 Heures du Mans surely beckons, along with the Tudor Sports Car Series in the USA. Basically, you're going to be seeing and hearing a lot more of this car over the next couple of years. So hopefully you can acclimatise to the mad semi-retro styling. Personally, my first impressions were that it was a bit too busy-looking and that if Ford were going to be this bold, they shouldn't have held onto the retro themes and should've let it be its own thing. As I see more photos, though, I'm starting to appreciate it more. I wonder if Jeremy Clarkson will make another order......


2015 Acura NSX

Not so wow. Everybody expected this. Actually, maybe a few people out there really didn't believe that Acura (Honda's US premium brand) would actually put its successor to the legendary Honda NSX into production, as we've been seeing this car in concept form since 2012 and the exterior has barely changed beyond some new wheel designs. But now, finally, at long last, after three years, it is finally actually literally definitely going to go into production and turn into a road car. For real. Legit. Not a word of a lie. It, like, so totally is.

Not really.

Oh wait, YES really!

The reason this somewhat familiar-looking car has taken three years to transition from show to street is because halfway through, they decided to completely re-engineer the car's not insignificant hybrid power unit. What was previously a naturally-aspirated, laterally-mounted 3.5-litre V6 from an existing model is now a twin-turbo, longitudinally-mounted V6 of unspecified displacement, moving it further away from the original NSX and closer to Formula 1, as it happens. The new engine, which sports a 75° bank angle (unusual for a V6 but probably to make it lower) is completely bespoke, with a dry sump for a lower centre-of-gravity and a clever valvetrain, and will combine with a comprehensive hybrid system to give a total power output of "over 550bhp." How much of that total output is the engine, we're not allowed to know yet... because it's not like we've already waited a long time for this car or anything. Another thing we do know is that it also has an entirely in-house 9-speed dual-clutch transmission. Nine! What will it use them all for?!

While the car itself is meant to rival the Ferrari 458 Italia - and now, probably much to their surprise, the new Ford GT - the hybrid system itself is a set up to rival the Porsche 918 Spyder. This picture of the powertrain shows a black T-shaped battery, which feeds no fewer than three electric motors. One at the back augments the engine with a function called "torque fill," which compensates for areas of the engine's rev range when it isn't making much torque, as well as filling in the gap in power delivery during a gear change, by producing a carefully-specified amount of instant torque. This is the kind of thing that the BMW i8, McLaren P1 and LaFerrari have, and it's the future. Meanwhile, there are two motors at the front, one for each wheel, which provide instantaneous torque vectoring as you go around corners, meaning that precisely the right amount of thrust or braking is applied to each front wheel to keep the car pointing in the right direction at high speed. All this function as part of something Acura are calling "Sport Hybrid Super-Handling All-Wheel-Drive," or "Sport Hybrid SH-AWD" for short-ish. What it will all mean is huge thrust in all conditions, and plenty of grip without it being boring, as the torque-vectoring front wheels will keep the front-end response nice and sharp. Acura have released precisely zero performance figures, but if 0-60mph takes more than 3.5 seconds then they've majorly screwed up.

Because the original Honda NSX was the "everyday supercar," practicality is considered too. Acura say it can fit a golf bag and two overnight bags in it somewhere. For me though, the biggest question mark hangs over the weight of the thing. With three motors, a huge battery and no mention of carbon fibre construction, it could be heavy, especially as the car has grown 3" longer and an inch wider compared to the original concept. Could we be looking at something over 1500kg? Would that be acceptable? The Nissan GT-R weighs 1740kg with the same power but without a hybrid system, and that's a pretty ballistic performance car...

America's attempt at a Japanese supercar will go on sale this summer with a target price of around $150,000 (which depressingly also means about £150,000 due to UK taxes...). It won't be built in Japan, but in Marysville, Ohio. Can an American car really be wearing such a legendary Japanese name just because its manufacturer is an offshoot of a Japanese company? Honda seem to be OK with it, as they'll be putting the 'H' badge on it in Europe and Japan. Owners of the "real" NSX from 1990-2005 might not see it that way.


Honda FCV Concept

But wait, if we're talking about technology of the future, weren't Honda making hydrogen fuel cell cars? Indeed. The limited-run FCX Clarity of 2008 was a perfectly good car hampered by high cost and a lack of places to refuel it. In 2015, the infrastructure for hydrogen is growing, and while the FCX isn't around any more, Honda have been working away at improving their technology in this area, as they really do believe that it really is the future. Given that Toyota also released a (truly hideous) fuel cell car recently, and agreed to share all their technology patents until 2020, they might be right this time. Detroit played host to a preview concept for their Fuel Cell Vehicle, called "FCV Concept." Clever. In March next year, a car looking very very similar to this will hit the roads, hopefully with a more interesting name. So aside from updated, more streamlined bodywork, what's different from the FCX Clarity?

I am so glad you asked. Much like a battery, one single fuel cell isn't enough to make sufficient energy to propel a car, so you have to stack lots of them together. In the Clarity, the fuel cell stacks sat not only under the bonnet but where an ordinary car would keep its gearbox, between the front seats. Much like computers, this technology has evolved to become simultaneously more powerful and more compact, meaning that the smaller fuel cell stack of the new car now fits solely under the bonnet. In fact, despite being 33% smaller, the power density has increased by around 60%, to 3.1kW of energy per litre of hydrogen consumed. This energy then drives an electric motor that produces 134 horsepower, or 100kW (the same power output as the Clarity). The fact that it does fit under the bonnet obviously means that it can be used for any kind of car Honda see fit to turn into an FCV. Meanwhile, the large tank of hydrogen - which is kept at a pressure of 70MPa - is stowed behind the rear seats. [N.B. before anyone mentions it in a fit of paranoia, the Hindenburg blew up because of the helium, not the hydrogen] Honda say it has a "cruising range" of 700km, which is to say that at a constant speed when it's barely using power, you can go up to ~435 miles, however the realistic range is more like 480km (~300 miles). Unlike a battery EV or plug-in hybrid, refuelling an FCV takes about 5 minutes, as it uses the same format as filling up with petrol or diesel. All we need is a pump at every other petrol station and it's as easy to run as a normal car, while emitting nothing but water vapor. You could even tape an Evian bottle to the exhaust if you wanted to! The fuel cell stack unit is the top part of the image this paragraph surrounds. The bottom item is a "Power Exporter" that comes with the car. Plug it in and the fuel cell can be used to power anything that takes AC current at a max of 9kW. Your car can power things in your house! Come March 2016, you could play electric guitar in a field! Or play your PS4 in a cave! Maybe! Oh, the possibilities. Honda want this to be the start of humanity's journey towards a CO2-free society. They've got Toyota and their minging Mirai to race against for now...


Infiniti Q60 Concept

Meanwhile, Infiniti's future is altogether more conventional. It's a pretty future, though. This is the preview concept for the upcoming Q60 coupé, a rival to the BMW 4-Series, Mercedes E Coupé and Audi A5. Will it be the car to beat the Germans? No, probably not. Will it tempt some people in with its decidedly un-German looks and character? Yes, it's likely it will. Infiniti are always good at giving us a sensual concept to drool over, but this one's actually hitting production in this very year, with a direct-injection twin-turbo V6 displacing 3.0 litres and making as much as 400+ horsepower at full chat (there will likely also be some lesser engines to pad out the range and give more affordable options). The styling takes cues from the Q80 Inspiration concept, but just as a 4-Series is a 3-Series with two doors missing, so this 2+2 will be based on Infiniti's Q50 executive sports saloon, from the chassis to the interior layout. The car this replaces was previously known as the G37 Coupé, or, if you're in Japan, the Nissan Skyline 370GT Coupé. As such, there are also subtle visual references to the GT-R powered Q50 Eau Rouge Concept, which is allegedly never going to make production as new management have chickened out. Dammit Infiniti, I thought you were cool...

There isn't much to say other than to comment on the silky-smooth exterior. Divisive though some of their cars are - I would mention one but they've recently all been renamed so it'd be too confusing - I love Infiniti's surfacing when they get it right. While the silhouette is fairly normal for a four-seat coupé, the contours of the body are flowing and elegant, with the high-finish silver paint giving it a look of liquid metal like Infiniti concepts always have. Hopefully it will look this good in the cold light of day at a set of lights. I also hope it doesn't just feel like a Nissan Z with some posh bits on it.


2015 Cadillac CTS-V

The fifth and final Car Of Interest should be something American. Something worthy of debuting in "Motor City." Something that screams freedom with a supercharged wail beset by V8 bass thunder. Something like the new Cadillac CTS-V. A four-door "sedan" with a giant engine, an automatic gearbox and a huge grille. Sorted. The engine in question is a General Motors 'LT4' 6.2-litre supercharged smallblock V8 lifted from the new Corvette Z06 (C7), a car I should've mentioned on this blog by now. While it sports direct injection and active cylinder deactivation to save fuel, it's detuned by 10bhp and 20lb/ft compared to the Vette... but that's OK, because compared to its German rivals the CTS-V is almost overkill.

Let's play dick measuring Top Trumps with the Germans (and for argument's sake, a Jaguar and a Lexus):

Super-Saloon	Power (bhp)	Torque (lb/ft)	Weight (kg)	0-60mph	Top Speed (mph)
BMW M5	552	501	1945	4.3 s	155 [limited]
Mercedes E63 AMG S	577	590	1870 (4MATIC = 1940)	4.1 s (4MATIC = 3.6 s)	186 [limited]
Audi RS6 Avant	552	516	1950	3.6 s	155 (189 optional)
Jaguar XFR-S	542	502	1875	4.4 s	186 [limited]
Lexus GS-F	467	389	1830	[TBD]	[TBD]
Cadillac CTS-V	640	630	1880	3.7 s	200

First of all, the brand new Lexus GS-F appears to have performance figures from a generation ago. Secondly of all, how heavy has this class become?! Should a mid-sized saloon weigh nearly two tonnes? Another rant for another time. The point is, America has predictably brought out the big guns. The CTS-V is packing nearly 90 more horsepower than most of its rivals, significantly more torque even than an AMG, a 0-60 time that can only be beaten with all-wheel-drive and a top speed of 200mph. Two hundred miles per hour!! A big comfy five-seater that goes as fast as a Ferrari is cool in anyone's books, even if you think it looks tacky and should've been offered with a manual gearbox for driving enthusiasts such as your good self. Still, it's not the only car with an 8-speed auto, as the Jaguar and Audi also have one. Plus it has launch control and paddles, like an F1 car! Of course, it won't corner like an F1 car, but making sure it corners like an M5 will be "Magnetic Ride Control" - "magnetorheological dampers" is hard to spell - as well as an LSD, various traction control modes and the fact that the chassis is 25% stiffer than the normal CTS, with wider tracks and beefier Michelin Pilot Super Sport tyres to boot. Oh, and massive brakes (steel, 390mm/6-piston up front and 365mm/4-piston out back). The result is a car that can allegedly pull 1g of lateral acceleration through the right kind of corner.

It'll hit US showrooms this summer for a hitherto undisclosed price. If it's as good as every American magazine and internet forum will inevitably say it is, then I'll take one in the most sinister shade of black they do, thanks. Maybe in this fantasy where I have the requisite funds, I'll swap in a Corvette Z06 7-speed manual gearbox while I'm at it.

And that's all for now, folks! Stay tuned later this month for the reveals of this season's Formula 1 cars!

This has been written for SmallBlog V8. Do not copy it without the author's permission.